No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
