Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
