new low.... made out with someone while peeing
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hippo gnu deer
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
