My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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