so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
