Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
