dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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