I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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