see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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