Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
