That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
