I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
