Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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