Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize