Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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