Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
