seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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