Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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