VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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