so that wasnt chicken after all
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
