Apparently you make a good broom.
he thought i was a dude.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
