if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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