he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
