I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
