Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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