i'm lost and i look like a hooker
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sext me about skeletons
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
