I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize