is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
