How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My liver is preforming stress tests.