just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you