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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in a vortex of obligation.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She said she didn't have time to shave "there"

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.

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• (516): View more from New York

  doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

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• (409): View more from Texas

  Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test

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• (475): View more from Connecticut

  And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.

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