new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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