I forgot how hot balto sounded
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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