I'm drive I can fine osifer
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
