What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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