Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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