When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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