I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
