Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
