I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
