I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize