After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh god it's open bar.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
