we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize