p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it hurts more in the daytime
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
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i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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