Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize