I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
