apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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