Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
