it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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