Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
