Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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