the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just invented taco cereal.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Randomize
