I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
