I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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