I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
