If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Everything about him screamed your future.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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