marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
