evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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