on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
