he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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