I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
